Make Money from Telling Lies on The Internet! Part I

OK, so here we go:

I have recently embarked on what I thought would be a weird and wonderful money making adventure online - I'm the guy that believed the hype, who believed I could do a few easy to 'Internet' type things that "anybody can do!" (yeah right) and sit back and watch the dough role in as I perfected my Rome Total War skills.....anyway.

I began in earnest in July 2007, I was watching daytime TV (possibly Trisha, possibly Jeremy Kyle), I forget, some welfare, skuzz ball stay at home and do bugger all infotainment show; when I was awoken from my stupor by a friendly lady, a friendly lady who was talking about ways losers like me and most likely everyone else watching the show could make money! huh Money! and what's more these were things that could be done in my spare time i.e. my very precious and hard earned non game playing time. Excellent, I remember rubbing my hands whilst I got my pen and got ready to right.

Write then, here are the things I learned and what I did:

The figures and activity levels below are real, an honest assessment as to whether you will be more or less arsed then I, should give you a good indication if any of what follows.... is worth your while.

Online Surveys
The knowledge I was given was concerning the existence of, and money making opportunities with, online surveys. You may or may not know that people get paid for their opinions? I didn't know this but thought it was worth a try. I then proceeded to search the net for companies that offered these services. I found, bookmarked and signed up for about 40. As I am in the UK most of these were UK based, there may be more on your planet.

Note: I wasted more then half of my full 2 days research (at this point I was uncharacteristically motivated - could smell the cheese baby!) finding and signing up for survey sites that either (1) Never replied (2) Had broken sites or even more infuriating, broken forms - after filling them out - grrr (3) Were cons (4) Were scammy sites designed to collect e-mail addresses and or personal information either to e-mail you crap or steal your identity, which leads me to:

Top Tip 1: Sign up for and use a throwaway e-mail address: Yahoo, Hotmail, Google and AOL all allow you to sign up for an e-mail account very easily. Don't use your main e-mail address until you are comfortable that the sites are legit.

Top Tip 2: Do your homework: It may seam obvious but it can't do any harm to spend 10 minutes or so Googling each company, looking at forums and quality A+ blogs such as this, as a rule if people have had a bad time with a company then its a fair bet, so will you. Ask yourself when looking at survey sites '"Would Tesco, Barclays or Marks & Spencers ask this company for market research services?" If the answer is no ..... don't bother.

Top Tip 3: Never, never, never, never pay anyone for information about surveys. I may be wrong but I believe that any company who tries to take a 'membership fee' or 'setup charge' are crooks. Legitimate companies are crying out for real people with real opinions. If you feel you absolutely must pay someone for this info please send your old pal Donk Diggler a donation using This Link £2.85 buys me a pint in my local - cheers!

I then waited a day or so to see what happened, some looked promising (money, money, moneeee!) some were obviously spam or cons (boo), I congratulated myself on my vigilance and planned my Nescafe - Nescafe 'Gold Blend' upgrade, haha.

The sites that I'm left with and am fully signed up for in alphabetical order are:

(1) Campden & Chorleywood Food Research Association Group: As the name suggests they conduct market research about food. Have sent me a couple of e-mails suggesting that they might be conducting a survey that suits me soon. Haven't done or been invited to do any surveys yet (three months!! - pull your finger out!) Not banking on these guys to pay for my yacht but may come through with a cheeky fifty (yes £50) at some stage.www.campden.co.uk/consumerpanel/welcome.htm" Come on guys I will eat anything for fifty quid.

(2) Ciao! Shopping Intelligence: These guys are busy busy when it comes to surveying people about all kinds of things (a lot of big retail brand names). Surveys come thick and fast, on average 8-9 per week sometimes more. Payments can be lousy (lowest I've been offered is £0.27 for 10 mins work - as I don't get out of bed for less then £0.50 I let that one slide). They do however come up with the goods and I usually bank around £35 per month by filling out roughly 1/2 of the surveys I'm offered. Payments are also nice and quick. The big money (by big I mean, £5, £10, £15) surveys come and go very quickly, by the time I've got my lazy ass up I've missed em, there's a fixed amount of people for each survey, if I was quicker, I would be richer.www.ciao.co.uk

(3) Global Test Market: You can expect a steady stream of surveys and income from this bunch. Usually pretty easy to fill out and I seem to get more interesting (interactive type) surveys from them then I get from the others. As with Ciao! they seem to have a lot of subscribers so be early to get the 'good stuff'. I usually walk clear with £25 - £30 per month, I reckon a more motivated survey monkey could double this. Surveys are paid in 'marketpoints' pegged against the dollar at 5cents per point, points redeemable for cash - lovely jubbly. www.globaltestmarket.com

(4) Great UK Survey Now, this one ranks pretty highly on my spam chart and if your planning on only signing up for a few of these companies then my advice is that this would be one of the ones to ditch. Only makes the list as it does give you the chance to win £5000 and I did actually fill it out. It's a one time job which takes about 5 minutes. If your not careful you will find yourself signing up for all kinds of crappy promotions and newsletters, don't be like like Zamo, when answering questions "Just Say No". www.greatuksurveys.co.uk

(5) Home of Research
One or two surveys a week is all you should hope for when you first sign up but the rate does increase as you do more. Generally Home of Research is pretty average, average surveys about average things paying average dosh. I'm sorry to say that this one ain't gonna make you rich, I bank around £15 a month with Home of Research, even with effort I think you would struggle to get over £30, but it is easy money. www.homeofresearch.com

(6) IPSOS

(7) It's Your View
These guys have a nice way of doing things, work on the principle of £1 for 5 mins of your time but unfortunately you hear very little from them. I usually get 1-2 surveys a month, the pay is always fair and the surveys are well thought out. If I was a marketer I think I would choose these guys. Worth signing up for but don't expect riches. A bit of easy pocket money is all I've ever had. www.itsyourview.com

(8) Juicy Brains Panel
I like the Juicy Brains Panel, surveys are quick - always a winner, topics are interesting, pay is well - it's alright (can't have everything I guess). You will be doing well if you break over twenty quid a month, not because the surveys don't pay well, just because you don't get that many. The speed, topics and ease of use mean I do these whenever I get them, Even low paying ones fill up fast so be quick. www.juicybrainspanel.com

(9) Light Speed Research Somehow I missed Lightspeed Research on my first research session? How I don't know cos they're massive but I'm pretty pleased that I found them in the end. I would be a happy boy if all the other survey companies were like this lot. Very straight forward and easy to do surveys, none of this asking for actual opinions business (you mean I need to type for my money - U Wot?), point n click city baby and lots of surveys, pay is good, payment in points but can be cashed via Paypal and nearly always even the shortest survey is worth at least a quid, they even give you points if you don't finish the surveys. http://gb.lightspeedpanel.com

(10) Mobile Panel Let me pre-empt this by explaining that I don't own a Palm Pilot, an i-mate or any other 'funky' phone/e-mail/calender device that all the 'cool' kids have (although, I'm not bitter, honest). So of all the entries here this is the only one I haven't tried. Looking at the program it looks legit and it does seem like the kind of thing I would try if I was more upwardly mobile - and it pays goood, you get 15 quid just for signing up!. So if you have a Palm Pilot, i-mate or any other phone that allows you to install software on it, then "lucky you!" Stop showing off, sign up and let everyone know your comments. www.mobilepanel.com

(11) Survey Savvy: Now, these are my absolute favorites, you hear nothing from them, then a survey or two or sometimes three comes along in the space of a few days, worth - wait for it ..... $15 dollars each - "Milky bars are on me!". This company is cool apart from the weird and oversized cheques you get (don't worry they cash just fine :)). You hear nothing from them, they don't clog up your inbox, then they give you like $45 out of nowhere, for not a lot of work. I've got nothing but lurve for Survey Savvy. www.surveysavvy.com

(12) Synovate A survey from Synovate aka Global Opinion Panels is a rare beast, like seeing a Lamborghini parked down your street it's kinda cool when you see them, not because they are cool - who cares, I'm more of an Aston guy wot, but because they scream cash, good, good, good. Sign up and hold tight, that Lamborghini could be coming soon. www.synovate.com

(13) Toluna Ok, let me tell you a bit about my girlfriend. She's been attending the Donk Diggler school of easy cash for 2 years now, despite this she likes Toluna. Now, I like my cash coming fast, easy and frequently. I haven't the least bit of interest where it is coming from or what I have to do to get it as long as it follows the golden rules of 'fast, easy, frequent' - I don't even know what the Toluna website actually looks like Account>Password>Claim Rewards - Done, thats me. Now, I find my girlfriend on this site far too often, when I ask why, it's apparently interesting, What?? Missing the point but ok. If your interested in actually reviewing things and testing out actual products in your home then this is the site for you. If your more of a 'show me the money' person you may want to skip this, you do get survey points that can be converted to gifts (not cold cash) so can be handy if your the type of person likely to spend the xmas money down the bookies. www.toluna.com

(14) Valued Opinions This lot keep the surveys coming nice and regular and are also capable of a few surprises. I've had a few juicy £2, £4 even £5 treats to wet my beak. Easy to use standard format. On my recommended list, you can expect to earn £20 or so pounds a month without stretching your brain too much, as always more if your quicker to reply (big paying surveys fill up in a few hours). www.valuedopinions.com

(15) YouGov 90% of the time their surveys are boring, boring, BORING! and seem to my untrained eye to be the same questions over and over again, "What do you think of David Cameron's suit?", "Do you like a lot, a little, not much, very little, Gorden Brown's haircut?" blah, blah, blah. Good for a quick 50p/pound or so (easy to fill out if half asleep, drunk or doing something else). Make claims to have some big £5+ payouts up their sleeves but I haven't seen any. YouGov survey results are featured a lot on TV and I believe do play a small part in forming government policy if you care about that kind of thing - which I don't. The remaining 10% of the surveys despite trying my hardest not to, I found pretty interesting. Nice and regular, I can usually bank on around £6pm from YouGov, they are a bit sly though, you can't get your hands on the cash until you've reached £50. www.yougov.com

Anyway my virtual brothers and Sisters, thats the end of part one; "where's the lies?" "We're only here for the lies?" I hear you cry. Don't worry part two is Bullshit City.

Make Money from Telling Lies on The Internet! Part 2

Money Talks
Ok let's think about this before going further. Lets imagine that you work for the luxury car company Lexus in the design department, your job is to design the hotest most funky car dashboard the automotive industry has ever seen. Lexus are really up for this, they are really going to pimp this car. Your going to see it all over the TV, your going to see pictures of it in magazines and newspapers its going to be all over the place, all based on your cutting edge dashboard designs. Whose design opinion do you want before you spank all that cash? Some unemployed bum who would most likely be thrown out of a showroom for looking at the cars funny or a well to do company director earning £100K+ a year? How many company directors are filling out online surveys for a pound a time? You with me? - Big dogs get the big bones! They might even let you have a spin, and when the unemployed bum turns up - haha, too late - 'wassup suckers!'

Now let's imagine you've just invented the coolest washing powder in the world, you've got your operations nailed, you can produce this washing powder for 1/2 the price of the competition. The question you need answered is not who will want to buy this? It's a fair guess everyone will, the questions are how? how quick? and at what price? You will want to talk to the unemployed bum and the company director. The point is the company director will be invited to both, the bum just the 2nd.

No Journalists, Advertisers, Marketeers
Almost every time, without fail one of the 1st questions you will be asked when starting any new survey is something along the lines of:
"Are you, a member of your family or any close friends:

a) A journalist?
b) In advertising?
c) In Marketing
d) In some industry related to the topic of this survey (BIG CLUE - Take Note for later!)"

Correct answer: e) 'No'

I like to mix things up a bit (you know, lie, close my eyes, click randomly) when I'm answering questions so in the early days I have answered yes to these - guarantees immediate explusion ' do not pass go, do not collect £200 :( If you are in any of these industries either change jobs or lie. Also don't be fooled into thinking that answering yes to 'd)' will help either, it wont.

Loopholes Baby!
I love loopholes and in the survey business (can't believe I just said that - what a tool) there is one great big one that you must exploit. This exploit is based on the fact that the company who actually wants the results i.e. the guys who are ultimately paying your bill, don't really trust the survey company or they don't care about wasting peoples time or both. Almost every survey I have done has re-qualified even the most basic of information, Are you 'Male/Female/Both/Don't know' are you '18-25/25-30/30-35/Don't Know' etc etc Which leaves you plenty of room for shall we say 'creativity'? Like a cheap hooker 'I will be whomever you want me to be if you got the money baby' haha. 'Now I'll lie my fine lil arse off', (ahem, sorry) I've told some pretty big lies and it hasn't stopped the surveys coming though, which suggests that each survey belongs to that particular client and that client alone, not to be shared with the survey company, which I guess is the way it has to be.

Yes, Yes, Yes
The final qualifying question is usually a big one and is often sneaky with 5-20 tick boxes, something along the lines of 'do you own?', 'have you seen?' or 'have you recently purchased?': then a list of options. Here is where your judgment will need to come into play, remember these people are looking to sell things, maybe not directly to you but certainly to people like you (or whomever your pretending to be:)). You've probably got an idea of whose asking the questions by now from question one earlier (see no journalists, advertisers, marketeers above) you now need to decide by the phrasing of the question what they want to hear. Make your decision and stick to it, ticking every box usually ensures that your either very right (75%) or very wrong (25%). In the early days I answered honestly and kicked myself knowing that if I would have ticked every box I would have gone through, nothing worse then being half right/wrong, and in this game it seems, honest.

I guess the lessons I've learnt are:
1) The initial profile you make for the survey company will decide (very broadly) what surveys you get invited to, make sure what you do for a living, what you earn, how you live etc is optimized to get as many worthwhile survey invites as possible (Don't lie too much, at least give the right name and address - you want to get your cheques!). Remember a millionaire still buys toilet paper and eats, sleeps, craps, shaves just like the rest of us, as far as I can see you won't be excluded from having too much money. But also remember that no-one gives a monkey's what you think if you ain't got any, especially marketing types who are asking the questions. Harsh but true.
2) The initial 3-5 questions of the individual surveys will decide if you make the dough or not, in those 3-5 questions, read between the lines, they will tell you exactly what they want to hear, might as well tell them just that. Once the initial questions have been answered cruise on home, make a cup of tea, get the cat to walk across the keyboard, see if you're toddler wants to 'play computer' :). money's in the bag!

Happy trails!

PS: Please also drop me a line with any decent sites and I will put them up on this blog. 1) Must be free to join 2) Must be non-spammy.

The list of decent online survey companies that I've discussed is below:

(1) Campden & Chorleywood Food Research Association Group:
(2) Ciao! Shopping Intelligence:
(3) Global Test Market:
(4) Great UK Survey
(5) Home of Research
(6) IPSOS
(7) It's Your View
(8) Juicy Brains Panel
(9) Light Speed Research
(10) Mobile Panel
(11) Survey Savvy:
(12) Synovate
(13) Toluna
(14) Valued Opinions
(15) YouGov